I'M SICK AND TIRED OF MY ANNOYING UNPREDICTABLE MS MOOD SWINGS

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Sway could mean different things with Multiple Sclerosis. One way could be about ones fucked up balance or their mood. Personally I am sick and tired of it. My mood swings are unpredictable and so god damn annoying. On the most part I am a happy and positive person. But when the ugly mood appears—I swear I am bi-polar!
              
When I’m having a good mood I am the nicest most positive individual. I am cool as shit. Fun to be around—Life of the party I must add. I enjoy spending countless hours researching all sorts of health information and health wellness to help others. It gives me great satisfaction knowing I have or maybe helping thousands of people. I work on my Facebook everyday looking for anyone that needs uplift. I make it part of my everyday routine to check on certain people. I try to acknowledge most people. I want them to feel that they are important. I want people to know they are in my thoughts everyday and that they mean a lot to me. With that being said, I become quite irritated when I don’t get it back.
              

When I was diagnosed with R/R MS, my parents didn’t get upset. The first reaction from them both was—“You didn’t get that from my side!”

When I was diagnosed with R/R MS, my parents didn’t get upset. The first reaction from them both was—“You didn’t get that from my side!” I was in a daze and didn’t really care what their reactions were. Nor did I care about my friends reactions. All I could do was focus on my own. 

I was devastated. I was scared, angry and very sad. I had a million things going through my head. For instance; would I die young? Am I going to see my children grow up? Will I see them get married and have children? There was so much on my plate that honestly a bomb could’ve gone off and I wouldn’t have cared. 

Presently, things have calmed down. I am a stronger woman because of this ugly disease.

MS and Antidepressants are two peas in a pod.

MS is not only a cause of depression, but the disease modifying drugs are as well. That is if one chooses to take them. Me, on hand prefers not to take the DMD's. I mean who wants to fuck up their livers by taking these drugs in the hope your disease--which is slow already--doesn't get worse. I don't. MS gives us enough shit to worry about.

But, I want to focus on one things today--depression. Depression and MS is a given. So most of us are forced to take an antidepressant. Myself--I have been battling depression for a long time and have tried several prescriptions. My current poison is Paxil. That's right I said poison. I have been doing great except one thing.

Angela Groves, Columnist, MSnewsChannel.com

I'M SICK AND TIRED OF MY ANNOYING UNPREDICTABLE  MS MOOD SWINGS

Sway could mean different things with Multiple Sclerosis. One way could be about ones fucked up balance or their mood. Personally I am sick and tired of it. My mood swings are unpredictable and so god damn annoying. On the most part I am a happy and positive person. But when the ugly mood appears—I swear I am bi-polar!
              
When I’m having a good mood I am the nicest most positive individual. I am cool as shit. Fun to be around—Life of the party I must add. I enjoy spending countless hours researching all sorts of health information and health wellness to help others. It gives me great satisfaction knowing I have or maybe helping thousands of people. I work on my Facebook everyday looking for anyone that needs uplift. I make it part of my everyday routine to check on certain people. I try to acknowledge most people. I want them to feel that they are important. I want people to know they are in my thoughts everyday and that they mean a lot to me. With that being said, I become quite irritated when I don’t get it back.
              
Everyone wants to feel loved and important. We do. We all do. Social networking has been a wonderful advocate in helping with that.  I understand not all have time—so they say—to always reply. My response to that would be—then get the fuck off the social network. Or at least write a post letting people know that you are on-line but for other purposes. Clarification is nice. Making others aware that you aren’t ignoring would be nice. I suppose in a perfect world. And this isn’t a perfect world. I wish.
             
I just wish people were more like me. Then everything would be okay. Ha! I am getting off track with my swaying mood. Oh how they sway! This way—that way. But, when it’s good—it’s damn good. When it’s bad, it’s sucks! My bad mood will come out of nowhere! Things or people can trigger it at any moment –anywhere. For me there have been times “the mood” punches me in the fucking face. I don’t even know why or how. All one or I can do is stay quiet and to oneself. In fact, I find it better that way. For this mood make one unpredictable. I fear with my short temper (because of my lesions on my fucking brain) that I could end up in an assault and battery situation. That’s why I feel it’s best that I stay home.
             
It sounds violent. I know. I just can’t help it. I think I can speak for most of us sick folks too. I do my best with what I got to stay sane, happy and positive. I’ve learned to just do what I want. Fuck what others think or want. Fuck what they say. Unless they are sick—they will never understand. It’s all about me. Not others and their opinions.
              
Life is short. Do what makes you comfortable. Do what makes you happy.

**Those that mind, don’t matter; those that matter, don’t mind**

              

NO ONE GETS MS---UNTIL THEY "GET" MS! Therefore, if you don't have MS SHUT UP!

 Angela Mayhew-Groves, Columnist, MSnewsChannel.com

Oh, so you think all MS'ers can work?
Well...
I was talking to another MS'er today and we were discussing how non-mer's think that if one MS person is working then we all can.

They have this notion that because we don't appear 'sick' that we can work and function like everyone else. Well I got some news for you idiots! MS affects each and every MS person differently. The brain controls different functions of the body. Voluntary and Involuntary functions. With that being said, for you fuckers to make these assumptions about us goes to show us just how idiotic you people are. We want to let you all know that all of you can suck our asses! You judges know nothing! Heartless pricks! Learn about the disease before saying anything. And just because you may 'know' someone with MS working doesn't mean that ALL MS'ers can!

NO ONE GETS MS---UNTIL THEY "GET" MS!

Therefore, if you don't have MS SHUT UP!

Thank Goodness for Stan's Angels! A great place to vent! CLICK HERE & BECOME A FRIEND! WE CALL THEM ANGELS

How I Cope With My Shitty Days

Angela Mayhew-Groves, Columnist, MSnewsChannel.com

There are numerous ways I cope with my MS shitty days. All depends on my capabilities. I mean I'm always tired and feel run down, but my emotions play a huge role.

On the most part, I have a positive outlook on life. However, MS really can be a real motherfucker! One can only take so much before one snaps. You know?

With that being said, I have found numerous ways to help me through these shitty days. I enjoy listening to good music, writing, and watching movies. My kids and close friends help me to laugh. My kids and I play games and watch scary movies to help distract me.

Lastly, it helps me a lot to interact with others like myself. It feels comforting to me to be able to turn to Facebook for that extra and much needed support. For  one to know that they have others on this horrific yet comical ride with MS is just awesome. We are in this together my MS family and I thank you and Stan's Angels.

Much love.

MY DAD TOLD ME TO MY FACE THAT I DESERVED TO HAVE MS!

Hi! I'm Angela and I've written 7 more columns for you. Click on my photo on the far left side of this page to read them all please. 

My Column today is about a very personal and hurtful subject for me to talk about: BETRAYAL!

Wow! Where does one even begin with this topic? I mean—no one—absolutely no one wants to be betrayed by anyone. Especially—by ones own flesh and blood.

That’s right. My own father has betrayed me. There have been several occasions. And,each one hurt worse than the last one. He never seems to support me in any aspect of my life. He’s very critical of me. He is not perfect by any means. No one is! And, yet one would think he was the best person in the world. Talk about self confidence.

When I was diagnosed, I was married to my ex. We were having martial issues at the time. MS added more to the plate.

During that time, I was going to counseling. I went for 4 ½ years. Before and after diagnoses. After stressful thinking, weight loss, deep depression and sleep deprivation—I knew it was over. I never talked to my Mom or Dad about the struggles we were going through. I mean I didn't go into depth. Every marriage has their ups and downs. I didn't want to bother them with the details. It was our business. Right? Well—my ex didn't take things as well. It was like a see saw. One day he was okay with it –then the next day he wasn't.

One day my ex had taken my journal from my dresser. I was at work and he took it to my father! He felt the need to make me look like the bad guy--I assume.

My Dad immediately sided with my ex. He said I was just like my slut mother. My Dad told me to my face that I deserved to have MS.

 For one, I never cheated on my husband! NEVER! He was hurt and I am guessing wanted to have a ‘reason’ why I was leaving. There was no other man. I just wanted to go. That’s it! But, back to my father—he placed judgment on me. He automatically referred me to my mother. Didn't talk to me for 2 ½ years. I don’t want to say too much more. My life is like a fucking drama movie! Christ! All of that happened 2001. Things are different now. I am remarried. I have two kids. As for my Dad, I am once again not on talking terms with him. This time it’s the fucking evil step-monster of a bitch! That’s another story I will tell another day.