(Angela Groves, Columnist, MSnewsChannel.com ) That Weird Feeling I Get
Do you ever get that weird feeling sometimes that the world is falling down on you? Yeah I feel kind of like that today.
I am in a weird mood. I don't know whether to be happy, sad, angry or to scream out FUCK!
I mean I've been home --not working since 2002. I am bored out of my fucking mind at times. I have people say for me to get out and visit people, but the fucked up thing is >>>>>I don't want to leave my home. I hate to go anywhere without someone with me. Is it fear? I don't know. I have a love for all people, but when I get out into a public place that is crowded I become easily pissed off. I get the urge to curse people out. Just for them being assholes!
I have NO TOLERANCE for assholes! Especially the ones that think their lives are more important than anyone Else's.
You know what I mean?
I mean shit man---I've been out of work since August 2002 because of my illness. I hate my illness. It's robbed me from so many things. There was so much I wanted to do for me and my family. Now with me collecting disability I feel like a complete loser and a useless person. I mean what the fuck am I here for? What am I suppose to do with myself.
My babies are growing up so fast and before I know it--they will be in College. =( They are my ONLY reasons why I even get up everyday. They make me happy. They give me the strength to keep living.
And thank goodness for my husband. He keeps my self esteem up. He reminds me every single day how much he loves me, how good of a mother I am, wife, person etc. He has always been the one to make me feel so smart. I've never thought much about myself. I know that should be a big turn-off. But for some reason we work together.
Even though our Astrology signs say we shouldn't--yeah I believe in the stars--somewhat. =)
Out of nowhere I freaked! I haven't had an anxiety attack in several months! I thought those fuckers were gone. =( Nope! I guess I was looking too much into my debts and tax stuff that I became overwhelmed,
I apologize for the long note, but I feel that there maybe others like me that could empathize with me. =)
Hey! Isn't that what Inside My Head is all about?
What you see is what you get.
I am a very sensitive person, I care about people, I care what they think and I worry about everything.
Sorry that's just Angie--- just being myself.
I share everything with everyone ---when I probably shouldn't. I mean MOST people aren't as OPEN and TRUTH as I am. I understand that. But I believe we should be open like a book. Show your true self. Don't be afraid to.
I love you all! Thank you for wanting to be a part of my Inside My Head World.
