Monday, February 3, 2014

Angela Groves, Columnist,


Sway could mean different things with Multiple Sclerosis. One way could be about ones fucked up balance or their mood. Personally I am sick and tired of it. My mood swings are unpredictable and so god damn annoying. On the most part I am a happy and positive person. But when the ugly mood appears—I swear I am bi-polar!
When I’m having a good mood I am the nicest most positive individual. I am cool as shit. Fun to be around—Life of the party I must add. I enjoy spending countless hours researching all sorts of health information and health wellness to help others. It gives me great satisfaction knowing I have or maybe helping thousands of people. I work on my Facebook everyday looking for anyone that needs uplift. I make it part of my everyday routine to check on certain people. I try to acknowledge most people. I want them to feel that they are important. I want people to know they are in my thoughts everyday and that they mean a lot to me. With that being said, I become quite irritated when I don’t get it back.
Everyone wants to feel loved and important. We do. We all do. Social networking has been a wonderful advocate in helping with that.  I understand not all have time—so they say—to always reply. My response to that would be—then get the fuck off the social network. Or at least write a post letting people know that you are on-line but for other purposes. Clarification is nice. Making others aware that you aren’t ignoring would be nice. I suppose in a perfect world. And this isn’t a perfect world. I wish.
I just wish people were more like me. Then everything would be okay. Ha! I am getting off track with my swaying mood. Oh how they sway! This way—that way. But, when it’s good—it’s damn good. When it’s bad, it’s sucks! My bad mood will come out of nowhere! Things or people can trigger it at any moment –anywhere. For me there have been times “the mood” punches me in the fucking face. I don’t even know why or how. All one or I can do is stay quiet and to oneself. In fact, I find it better that way. For this mood make one unpredictable. I fear with my short temper (because of my lesions on my fucking brain) that I could end up in an assault and battery situation. That’s why I feel it’s best that I stay home.
It sounds violent. I know. I just can’t help it. I think I can speak for most of us sick folks too. I do my best with what I got to stay sane, happy and positive. I’ve learned to just do what I want. Fuck what others think or want. Fuck what they say. Unless they are sick—they will never understand. It’s all about me. Not others and their opinions.
Life is short. Do what makes you comfortable. Do what makes you happy.

**Those that mind, don’t matter; those that matter, don’t mind**